Looks like the key might be getting into the retention department...
I decided to give it one more shot today and spent about 15 minutes on the phone with the "front line" customer service. The CSR read (“to herself”out loud over the phone) their marketing stuff about red zone which clearly said if someone asks for it separate to tell them it can only be sold as part of Sunday ticket. Finally she said there’s nothing she can do, but she’s going to put the notes on my account and transfer me to the retention department because “they have more latitude as to what they’re allowed to do” for customers.
They connected me up with a CSR in retention who’s first comment was “Wow. You’ve been a customer since 1997. We appreciate that kind of loyalty, we can work something out for sure. [type type type] Yeah, okay, so I can offer you two things. Either a half price on Sunday Ticket, or I can give you Red Zone channel for free.”
Yay.