New Theory About Microstutters...and Shocking News About Voom Guy Number 3's Father

[ZeitGeist]

Why the hell are you wasting your time here with that short little two thousand word post?

Start your own site called, Ipostsofreakinglongnobodywantstoreadwhatthehellihavewrittern.com

It will be a hit!

I have three thoughts about this:

1. The perception of how quickly or slowly time passes as well as the relative value we place upon the quantity of time we have available to us are highly individual and quite complicated - perhaps too complicated for even the individual in question to actually comprehend the systemic processes by which such evaluations are eventually derived
2. It's possible, under a variety of circumstances including such things as closed head injury, illegal drug abuse, side effects of prescribed therapeutic drugs, traumatic psychological events, and any number of other reasons that are too numerous to even attempt to categorize; an individual's normal inhibitory processes may become altered in such a way to cause dramatic changes in behavior. Sometimes this manifestation can be highly overt as when a someone who has never been involved in any criminal activity begins to shoplift or steal. Other times, the effect is more subtle such that an individual may no longer be able to discern and judge the difference between what could be classified as positive and negative attention and behaves in a manner to derive maximum attention regardless of negative social implications which would result from certain acts. In this case, and individual may still may have a reasonable perception of the amount of attention an act may receive but would not be able to differentiate between a positive or negative response.
3. I don't think you can have domain name that long

Dave

 

[andrzej]

Guys, you really have no sense of humor? I think that his prose is really funny. Maybe I like it because he (she?) sounds very much like my son.

 

[Scubasoul]

Guys, you really have no sense of humor? I think that his prose is really funny. Maybe I like it because he (she?) sounds very much like my son.

It's a "he" and he seems to have chosen the wrong message board for his psychotic effects.

 

[ZeitGeist]

I'm sure your wife knows all about it

She quote unquote thinks she knows all about it.... all of you think you know all about it with your microstutters here and your pixel per second megawidth red shove digital progressive combing rez scan digital whole home distributed vcr systems there but what is "real" I ask you. What is real? Wake up and shake the cobwebs from your feet and feel the truth for once in your life Voomers. There is no microstutter. In fact the truth is....the truth is....the truth is you can't handle the truth but I'm gonna tell it to you anyway and you can call me a Cassandra Day O'Conner and I don't care. The truth is - all that you touch and all that you see, all you taste, feel, love have, even all that you distrust or all you save, everything you give, deal, buy, beg, borrow, or steal, all you create, all you destroy, all that you do, say, eat, meet, slight, fight, all that is now, and all that is gone and all that's to come, and everything under the sun is in tune but the sun is eclipsed by the microstutter. That's right, I said it - the microstutter. It's not on your TV, it is your TV. It is everything. Our very universe is nothing more than one giant microstutter and it manifests itself in all things and in all places. Your body, it's composed of tiny pieces of the original microstutter that shuddered across the universe and created all things. If they ever compute pi to it's final digit do you know what the answer would be - aside from a really long fractional number? The microstutter. Do you know who killed Colonel Mustard in the Conservatory? The microstutter. Jimmy Hoffa's body? Deeply buried within the microstutter The idea for New Coke? stupid coke executives but guess who figured out they needed to bring back original coke really fast? That's right, the microstutter. So tonight, as you lay in your bed and before you go to sleep, in that time you usually reserve for quiet moments of reflection about that friend's wife, you know the one I'm talking about, the one with that really nice body and great butt. The one that when she's had a couple of drinks she gets kinda flirty and touchy but your wife's always lurking around watching like a damn hawk so you can't really ever even have a conversation and kinda feel her out a little better about maybe a little daytime playtime hookup, if you know what I mean. Anyway, instead of thinking about her or that other women, the one from the office thats always trying to talk you into going out for drinks with the rest of the office people or even how good your wife's little sister looked the other day all wet and in that bikini when she came over to the house and brought some of her friends so they could swim and plan some of their senior year high school events. Well instead of doing that think on this and think on it hard - The microstutter is everywhere and all things are composed of it. It's in the air we breathe and the water we drink. Most of all, though, it's there deep in our hearts only waiting for us to be still and quiet so that we can hear and feel the truth of it's deep and abiding love for all creation - except for dirty stinking filthy lice ridden birds. The microstutter hates birds. Hates all birds and demands that we kill them and sacrifice them in his honor as a proper form of worship. So think on that and tell me what any of else really know?

have a nice day,
dave

 

[Mr. Biggles]

Don't know what inspired that...actually don't want to know, truth told.

Can we look forward to a 'As the Voom Turns' episode number 2?

 

[ZeitGeist]

you are the reason books and libraries exist. now i know how someone can write a 1000 page novel. i would rather watch MOOV than read.

BabyJ,
I wan't to tell you that your post moved me and forced me to reconsider some long-standing fundamental beliefs that I have long held. For years and with many long hours of study and contemplation I had come to the conclusion that the greatest "I would rather" one line summation of human hope and desire was contained in the statement

I would rather be at home sitting on my ass watching Jerry Springer collecting welfare checks

Today, Sir, I am forced to rescind that and from now on my personal "I would rather" affirmation that will guide me through long nights of doubt and uncertainty will be

I would rather watch Moov than read


I would rather watch Moov than read,
Dave

 

[ZeitGeist]

Don't know what inspired that...actually don't want to know, truth told.

Can we look forward to a 'As the Voom Turns' episode number 2?

Well, as long as I keep finding it amusing, don't get banned from posting, and happen to have a steady supply of free time - probably. It's kind of a race between how long I find it amusing, which is actually still pretty high, and steady supply of free time which will be dwindling away in the next couple of days. And from the Voom forum regulars there was much rejoicing that this will all end and the Lord did grin and the people did feast on lamb and anchovie and fruit bats and breakfast cereals....


I would rather watch Moov than read,
Brother Maynard aka Dave

 

[ZeitGeist]

It's a "he" and he seems to have chosen the wrong message board for his psychotic effects.

Did I choose the wrong message board? Or did the wrong message board choose me?

And you better believe it's all man under the hood here, baby. Like a friggin Wild African Rhino, it is, down there.

I'm telling you, it's like unbelievable.

OK, look..here's the deal. Can anyone hook me up with some enzyte?


I would rather watch Moov than read,
Dave

 

[Walter L.]

ZeitGeist,
I just have a question: how long did it take you to write your "manifesto"?

 

[Scubasoul]

...Our very universe is nothing more than one giant microstutter and it manifests itself in all things and in all places. Your body, it's composed of tiny pieces of the original microstutter that shuddered across the universe and created all things.

Dude, what kind of dope are you on, LOL

It's one thing to say you don't see them, but this, rediculous, end of story.

 

[Seawaves]

Davie baby,

Man- your dendrites must be a growing by the pound as we write.

My guess is that you do not own a Tv and therefore know nothing of Moov.

If I am indeed correct, why steal from poor brother babyj.

Way to change a thread to a rope.

 

[babyj]

BabyJ,
I wan't to tell you that your post moved me....

isn't it want. not wan't?

*Runs to Bedroom..I have other things to DO. I Guess Tha'ts Gonna Be a LONG Post*

5 Hours Later.

Girl: let's cuddle.
Me: *Snore*

 

[ZeitGeist]

ZeitGeist,
I just have a question: how long did it take you to write your "manifesto"?

Dear Walter L.
I don't know since I haven't written my manifesto. However if your referring to the original first post in this thread I actually spent several hours working on it...OK, about 9 hours working on it.
The stuff I'm posting today is kinda a different type of writing exercise for me. The operative metaphor I would use is speed chess. I'm just trying to wing it out and let ideas flow today as fast as I can and organize it as fast as I can. If something just happens to spark an idea I run with it.


I would rather watch Moov than read,
Dave

 

[ZeitGeist]

Dude, what kind of dope are you on, LOL

It's one thing to say you don't see them, but this, rediculous, end of story.

There's no dope brother..I'm high on life and the love of the world. I'm high from smiling faces, watching puppy dogs chase their tales, and I'm high from enjoying the fellowship and fraternity of my fellow man. I'm high from the love of a good partner who is my best friend. Why aren't you high too, brother. Why aren't you high on life and the love of the world. There is nothing stopping you from sharing this love. Nothing stopping you except yourself. You can join me up here, come on up and feel the love. Come on up and feel the love enter deep into your soul.Let the love enter you and change your heart so you can be high too - high on love and life and the fellowship of man. You just have to accept the truth, you have to let the truth come out and enter your very body. Join me and sit by my side up her e on the mountain top and look out on the world with new eyes. We can sit together, side-by-side, upon this mountain peak looking out on the beautiful world. It's better than watching any Voom exclusive channel brother so cast that microsutter out of your eyes and come feel the love. Forget Voom and sit together with me, side-by-side, close together. The love may seem small at first and so fragile but when you receive that love and cherish it and nurture it and hold it in your hand then it will grow brother, it will grow so big and strong that it will be as a mighty redwood. Be high on life like me brother, let the truth and love enter you so that your soul can be high and happy and free from uncertainty and doubt and misunderstanding. Let the love enter you and spill itself deep within you so that your soul will be high and free. Feel the love brother and let the love shower you with the sweet nectar of love and truth so that you no longer hide yourself away from the world in a dark closet. So be like me brother, be high on life and love.


I would rather watch Moov than read,
Dave

 

[ZeitGeist]

Davie baby,

Man- your dendrites must be a growing by the pound as we write.

My guess is that you do not own a Tv and therefore know nothing of Moov.

If I am indeed correct, why steal from poor brother babyj.

Way to change a thread to a rope.

I do have a TV, a nice big TV that I love very much and I do have Voom which I'm not quite as sure about as the TV - it's kinda like my wife in that it's more of a provisional relationship and I try to keep an alternative around in case things don't work out which in the case of Voom is DirectTV and I do, on occasion, watch Moov - which I do think is a cool channel.

I would rather watch Moov than read,
Dave

 

[ZeitGeist]

isn't it want. not wan't?

*Runs to Bedroom..I have other things to DO. I Guess Tha'ts Gonna Be a LONG Post*

5 Hours Later.

Girl: let's cuddle.
Me: *Snore*

It just kind of depends if you want to be conventional or experimental.

Also, there is no excuse for her to take 5 hours to get you off man..that's just wasted time for you that could be better spent watching TV, playing XBox, eating a sandwich, going out with guy friends and scamming on other girls, etc. And, it's time wasted for her when she could be cleaning the kitchen or the bathroom, washing some clothes, making you a sandwich. The real measure of manhood is not how long you last but how little effort you have to put into making her get you off and then cleaning up around the house.

I would rather watch Moov than read,
David

 

[babyj]

so i guess u don't believe in female orgasm. no wonder your wife, girl...whatever u have..aint letting u get any. which quite clearly explains your abundance of free time and your long posts.

 

[ZeitGeist]

It just kind of depends if you want to be conventional or experimental.

Also, there is no excuse for her to take 5 hours to get you off man..that's just wasted time for you that could be better spent watching TV, playing XBox, eating a sandwich, going out with guy friends and scamming on other girls, etc. And, it's time wasted for her when she could be cleaning the kitchen or the bathroom, washing some clothes, making you a sandwich. The real measure of manhood is not how long you last but how little effort you have to put into making her get you off and then cleaning up around the house.

I would rather watch Moov than read,
David

Due to some misunderstanding about a previous statement Mr. Zeitgeist wishes to come forward with this clarification statement at this time

I believe my previous post has been misinterpreted and misquoted by some members of the press corps and I wish to make it clear Mr. Zeitgeist in no way condones or sanctions the mistreatment or disrespect of Women. Mr. Zeitgeist has a strong history of supporting women, especially his wife for whom he has bought many pieces of jewelry and will surely buy many more in the coming months and years as their relationship continues to flower and blossom as a symbol of loving unity until the end of time. Mr. Zeitgeist believes the American people and, even more importantly, Mrs. Zeitgeist know of his excellent track record as a loving husband and faithful partner. Attempts by some to turn this into a political issue will surely be seen as the cynical ploys of those seeking short term material and political gain by everyone, especially Mrs. Zeitgeist. When Mr. Zeitgeist indicated in previous statements that the real measure of a man is how little he needed to do in order for his girlfriend or wife to get him off all that Mr. Zeitgeist was trying to convey was the sense that for most women the idea sweaty hairy man heaving around on top of them for five hours would be uncomfortable and ultimately disempowering and that a good husband would seek to minimize any possible discomfort by quickly finishing a task. Also Mr. Zeitgeist wants to make clear that when discussing the idea of women having more time for other activities he in no way wanted to indicate that a woman's role should be strictly limited to the older ideas of "housewife" it was merely an illustrative statement to show some of the various types of tasks a women could spend new found free time. Mr. Zeitgeist could have just as easily mentioned that women could have used that time to fulfill themselves with meaningful hobbies or even just sit on a couch and eat chocolates to their hearts content. That's all Mr. Zeitgeist wishes to say on the subject and there will be no questions answered at this time.

 

[adtoolco]

Zeity...You don't mind if I call you Zeity do you? Honestly I don't care cause I'm 6'4" and 300lbs so I'll call you Zeity if I want to. Anyway your so correct about the microstutter, a myth, mirage, a talltale told by toads. Your also F'n hillarious and i havn't read anything this good in a while. You have me hanging on your every word. I'll even go one step further and tell you your better than Moov and i like Moov allot. i think i was one of the first that defended Moov way back when Vurbano was calling for the axe cause poor moov was blamed for all of Voom troubles. Bandwith this and bandwidth that, blah, blah, blah...Moov sucks....bandwidth...blahbidy blah. Anyway you rock and if your ever throwing A party i want to be there especially to see your wifes younger sister and her freinds all wet like...you have a pool right? i think you said that in one of your brilliant posts which by the way has inspired me write this. i don't think i've written more than four sentences since i joined this fine message board but you sir are great. greater than great...the greaterst. Now i know this body of work pales to what you have done but this is diffinitly more than 4 sentences and for inspiring me to let go...and let it flow, i thank you. Zeity Baby your the man. So you think you can set me up with your wifes younger sister?

-Chris

 

[ZeitGeist]

so i guess u don't believe in female orgasm. no wonder your wife, girl...whatever u have..aint letting u get any. which quite clearly explains your abundance of free time and your long posts.

dude, just chill...this is make believe, ok.