When I had Dish, I was told by the installer that I only needed to hook to a phone line if I wanted to order PPV (which I don't do). I did however plug in Ethernet, which was Internet connected through my broadband connection. A few times when I moved my room around (which takes a day or two to move furniture, dust, etc.) I would get threatening messages on the screen when I hooked it up that it couldn't phone home and that I may be hit with a $5 charge (I never was). It said it needed to be connected to PHONE or ETHERNET. So I believe Ethernet is an acceptable alternative. A lot of people do not have landlines these days.
I was never audited but if I was alienated like that I would have basically told them to screw off. I don't answer to them, they answer to me. I mean really, I have heard they call you and give you only a few minutes to give them the location ID. Well, there would be several ways to dodge this if they were to call you. "This is my cell phone, I am not home." "You called my landline, but I forward my phone to my cell phone when I am gone and I am gone." "The power is out, try back later." "I am rearranging my entertainment center and everything is disconnected." "They are painting my house/roof and the cables are disconnected."
I cannot understand how anybody with half a brain wouldn't come up with one of these answers on the fly. If a business calls and says, "This is so and so with Dish, are you home?" I am not going to answer "yes," even if I am home. It is none of their business where I am and this would just totally make me mad. How do people actually get caught by the audit team? They must be really stupid and basically say, "You've got me, my second receiver is at my uncle's house, we split the bill." I mean really, what a waste of Dish Network resources. They have these commercials now saying they charge less than DirecTV for the same channels. OK, well, that is debatable and if they didn't waste time with this "audit team" they would have less overhead and could charge less!
What happens when they do catch somebody? They cancel their account. The customer moves on to cable or DirecTV. Do they honestly think they are going to catch a person splitting service with a relative or friend and the customer is going to 'do right' and buy two separate accounts? I think the person would more than likely change to another provider. So Dish would lose business, not gain more. They are just making people mad.
I understand that it is their policy that you have to have your boxes in one location, but I'm sorry, if I owned TWO homes, I too would put a box at each home. It isn't as if I am in both locations at the same time watching TV. What difference does it make if I close up a winter home and summer in the north and use one receiver or vice versa. The opposite house sits empty during the other months. A person has enough to deal with by putting their phone and other things on hold, winterizing a summer home, etc. I wouldn't waste time calling them for an address change or buying the same service at both locations.
Having that said, it sounds like a disturbingly fun job, being a Dish Network auditor. You could call and freak people out and get them all worked out for some sick self satisfaction. You could high five the guy in the next cubicle and say, "I got another one, that is five this week." Maybe they even have a white board like the auto dealerships, showing a count of catches similar to a salesman at the car dealership and their number of sales. Maybe they even hold contests or get bonuses for the most catches. Sounds like a fun job in a sick twisted way. If they are anything like a shady bill collector, they probably really enjoy busting people and causing pain in a stranger's life. Good job Dish!
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