How much did your wedding cost?

[yourbeliefs]

I think a main problem with weddings nowadays is that women have this notion that they should have this huge celebration for this event, and that is certainly ingrained in our culture. So many guys have said that they have as much influence in their wedding planning as Singapore has an impact on the Olympics games. My girlfriend (and hopefully soon to be wife) grew up on a poor farm on the outskirts of Beijing, and she couldn't even fathom the idea of planning and throwing such a huge party and potentially going into debt in order to pay for it.

One thing that I could see as somewhat "sucking" about having a small intimate ceremony is, what do you do about gifts? I mean when you go to a regular (big) wedding, everyone comes with a gift, whether it be monetary or otherwise. I can't imagine my wedding party being more than 15 people, but I have a big Irish family from my mom's side. I'm not sure how you can tactfully say, "Hey, Sue and I are announcing our engagement. You aren't invited to the wedding (don't feel bad, almost no one else is either,) but can you still send us a gift anyways, as we could REALLY use the money?" Announcing it after the fact doesn't seem like a much nicer thing to do either, but what do you think is the best way to keep costs down but keep rewards high?

 

[snathanb]

Announcing it after the fact doesn't seem like a much nicer thing to do either, but what do you think is the best way to keep costs down but keep rewards high?

Call me a romantic, but when I get married years ago, I didn't care a rat's a** what the "rewards" were.

 

[Bobby]

Call me a romantic, but when I get married years ago, I didn't care a rat's a** what the "rewards" were.

Amen, and oh by the way, I knew exactly what the rewards were. 33½ years later and two children bear that out.....

 

[snathanb]

Amen, and oh by the way, I knew exactly what the rewards were. 33½ years later and two children bear that out.....

:up, but only 20 years and two children for me.

 

[Spatch]

10 years 1 and in 2 and 1/2 months 2 kids later, but the rewards were nice. The wedding cost 12,000 we made it all back and had some spending money for the honeymoon. We invited 250 people about 150 showed up and others mailed us the rewards.

 

[yourbeliefs]

10 years 1 and in 2 and 1/2 months 2 kids later, but the rewards were nice. The wedding cost 12,000 we made it all back and had some spending money for the honeymoon. We invited 250 people about 150 showed up and others mailed us the rewards.

150 people for 12k? That sounds like a bargain..

 

[duckydan]

My wedding looks like the smallest cost on this forum... we had about 120 people and the hall / catering was $7k, the cake was $0 (dad's a baker), rehearsal dinner was $200, minister was $500, DJ was $500, photographer was $0 (friend's a professional photographer) and the limo was about $800 for the wife (I drove myself... screw that nonsense)

Total cost for the wedding was about 9k and the "rewards" was a free trip to Vegas for 3 days without our daughter...

 

[damjr]

16 years ago started getting frustrated with all the BS costs and family involvement so we called everyone and told them we're getting hitched in Tahoe.

Got married outside under the redwoods with 60 friends and family members.
The reception - everyone paid for their own plates.

Total cost for the wifey and I including her dress,hotel room, and chapel - $600

 

[Spatch]

150 people for 12k? That sounds like a bargain..

If I remember correctly, the hall charged $60 per person, cake was free (my mother had he own cake decorating business) the rest was spent on flowers (friend of the family owned the flower shop), we belonged to the church we gave the priest $300 DJ, Limo and photographer ( photos only) family video taped for free.

 

[yourbeliefs]

If I remember correctly, the hall charged $60 per person, cake was free (my mother had he own cake decorating business) the rest was spent on flowers (friend of the family owned the flower shop), we belonged to the church we gave the priest $300 DJ, Limo and photographer ( photos only) family video taped for free.

Funny you mentioned "video taped for free." My father, who is as far away from being a holy man as you can get, got ordained as a minister and married my cousin, who was his godchild. When my mom's side of the family heard of this (my parents are divorced) their eyes lit up and they all but demanded to see it. I took it upon myself to be a gentleman and record the ceremony, as I was sure it was going to be a disaster that we could fondly look back upon for years to come. Unfortunately (or fortunately depending on your POV), my dad didn't do a bad job and it came out rather well. Throughout the day people were thanking me for recording the ceremony, and I came to realize that NO ONE was hired to record this event; not even a family member who wanted to remember it. As a result I took it upon myself to also record things from the reception as well, including what had to be the greatest speech I've ever seen given by a best man (It's actually on my Youtube channel that's in my signature.) As a result of recording this stuff and posting it online, I got the only personalized "Thank You" card from my cousin and her new husband. Also I did all this with just the "video" option of a canon digital camera (luckily I had a nice 2 GB card to work with.)

I suppose a good morale of the story is that if you want basic video recorded at a wedding, just get a decent digital camera/digital video camera and a nice memory card and you'll be all set.

 

[cybok0]

10 people was there, I paid $50 for the license and $50 for the judge, I paid $200 for both rings. My mother gave my wife a dress.

Pretty simple.

 

[timmy1376]

Around a grand, with most paid by the wife and I. She was 19, I was 20. Her parents couldn't afford much, neither could we. Did most of the stuff ourselves, friends did other stuff to help us, like dresses, cake, pictures.

I wish now it would have been nicer, but almost 12 years later she is still my very best friend!

 

[rockaway1836]

Tomorrow will make 33 years for me. We had 200 people at $18 a head with an open bar. The band cost about $500 back then. Which was expensive for the time, but we paid extra because I didn't want them taking any breaks and slowing down the party. Limo went for $100,and I think my wifes' dress went for $200. I went to my wife's cousin's wedding about 2 years ago. I know they paid $30,000 for flowers alone!!! Way over the top!!!

 

[BigTetto]

Wow, battle of the cheapest? (Not that there is anything wrong with that... $$$ isn't the important thing!) I was just going to chip in that... coming from an Italian family... with most of my cousins and such living in northeast NJ... a huge wedding was the norm. One of my cousins (er, well, maybe my aunt and uncle ) had to have dropped close to $100k... everything over the top. The most amazing cocktail hour that would have been fit for entertaining heads of state... THEN the actual meal... a band with a light show rivaling a tour-ready production... complete insanity. But it was a splendid time. haha

Me, I don't forsee a small affair, but DEFINITELY not that outlandish.

Hmmm... maybe I'll just start with a girlfriend first... LOL!

 

[topcats69]

In by first marriage my EX got preg within two weeks and we got married in her mom and dads living room (her dad is a Luth minister) so the hold cost about 50.00. Just my mom and dad and her bro and sister.

we lasted two years. I guess what I'm saying is do what you and her want and don't let not pressure you to change you dreams.

 

[berkly]

Anyone here about the couple who got married at a waffle house in Georgia?

 

[yourbeliefs]

Anyone here about the couple who got married at a waffle house in Georgia?

You mean these beauties:

http://www.gwinnettdailypost.com/main.asp?SectionID=6&SubSectionID=84&ArticleID=16944

 

[dishtechsup]

With everything included apprx $15,000.

80-90 guest
would be considered a small wedding
Not sure where all the cost came from since even tho I was the bride my in laws paid most of it.

 

[Bogy]

Wedding was in 1976. Most of the expenses were paid by my mother-in-law out of an inheritance she had received.
The rehearsal dinner was at my parents home. No idea what it cost, I don't even remember what we ate, but $100 probably covered it.
Wedding was at my wife's church, so there was no cost.
My father was an ordained minister, and I paid him in grandchildren.
Music was provided by family members.
My wife sewed her own dress, and the bridesmaid's dresses.
I rented a tux, which cost me about $25.
Flowers were were provided at cost by one of the biggest florist in the Long Beach, CA area, who was a boyhood friend of my father-in-law.
Photos were the cost of film and developing, by a professional photographer. Did a great job since most of the pictures he took were of McDonnell-Douglas planes, where he worked with my father-in-law.
The cake was baked and decorated by my mother-in-law.
The reception was at my wife's church, which again, cost us nothing. The food was prepared by family members, and was build your own sandwiches and various salads.
The "limo" was my brother-in-law's" 1965 Lincoln, although we were the last ones to leave the party.
The honeymoon was a couple of weeks at my in-laws cabin in the mountains.
Total cost: I really don't remember, but it seems like it was between $2-3000.

My son is getting married next year.
They will be getting married in the church I now pastor. I'm not planning on charging them anything, and there won't be a cost for the church, but I better get some grandchildren out of it.
My wife is going to sew all the dresses for the bride, bridesmaids, and flowergirls.
I'm going to fire up the smoker for the rehearsal dinner. I may convince my wife I need a second smoker, or a new bigger one to handle the food.
The reception is going to be at a campground the city owns. The bride's parents have rented the "back forty" a circle of RV slots with an open area in the middle with a community building and a nice slab of concrete that serves as a basketball court, but also makes a passable dance floor. They have rented the whole thing for the weekend of the wedding, so anybody who comes to town for the wedding with an RV has a place to stay, and other campers won't bother us and we won't bother them. The kids and their friends have spent a lot of time at this park the past few years, and it seemed appropriate. I don't know exactly what else will be on the menu, but the final item will be S'Mores.

As a minister I have officiated at weddings of all sizes and levels of extravagance. I do weddings for non-members as well as members. When I'm asked what I charge to officiate I sometimes tell the couple that I think 10% of what they are spending on the reception would be appropriate. If they survive the heart attack I tell them if they are members there is no set charge, if they are non-members its a $100. That includes several meetings, both for counseling and planning the service. Most members pay me the $100 as well, but I had one couple recently who I knew were strapped for cash, and I got much less. The wife's parents lost their house in the tornado that hit one of our neighboring communities a few months ago, and the groom's father has been in and out of the hospital in recent months. It was by far one of the simpler weddings I've had lately.

Next weekend I'm making a trip to St. Louis to officiate the wedding of a young lady I confirmed a few years back. The wedding will take place on the steps of a mansion which is on the grounds of a county park. (They are in the minority, but I've had an assortment of weddings over the years outside of churches, including my sister's wedding which my dad and I did together on Chappaquiddick Island.) I'm not sure that I will actually make anything on this wedding, but they will take care of our expenses, and it will make a nice get away for my wife and myself. By the time they pay the hotel bill for three nights and gas to get from Iowa to St. Louis they will have spent a few bucks. That reminds me, I still need to see if the Cardinals are in St. Louis next week.

 

[navychop]

Bogy, that's a great story. Thanks for sharing.