Top 10 things that might be wrong with D10?

[CPanther95]

13) There is no problem. D* is adopting the Turner definition of HDTV. Set your STB to output 1080i and set your Format to stretch. Now all channels are HD channels.

D*10 and D*11 will be re-tasked to handle the rollout of interactive two-way dating and shopping services.

 

[bgilga]

This is one of the bests top 10 lists out there. We should start a new poll, Scott. What happens first, we find Bin Laden or new HD channels?

 

[shamill19]

Could it be that Mini Me is humping the laser?

 

[coreyva]

14. They have been relying on n2yo for D10 positioning information and now aren't sure where it's at.

 

[vurbano]

15. You mean I wasnt supposed to use Duct tape?

 

[vurbano]

13) There is no problem. D* is adopting the Turner definition of HDTV. Set your STB to output 1080i and set your Format to stretch. Now all channels are HD channels.

D*10 and D*11 will be re-tasked to handle the rollout of interactive two-way dating and shopping services.

Umm,,,, you wont believe this but the installer of my new equipment thought that if I didnt set things on stretch I wouldnt get HD. I told him he was wrong (he didnt own an HD set), so I didnt even try to explain. Of course he didnt know how to peak to the new sat location either. He also said he would set up only for 3lnb dish in the setup because the 5lnb setup would just give an error message or some nonsense. I was so dissapointed too since this was the first tech who ever showed up with a blue D* shirt.

 

[bjs188]

D* quote: "DISH is already using MPEG4, we better wait for MPEG5 so we can be the true HD leader."

 

[vurbano]

16. WHo cares? 3D tv is where its at.

 

[jcflesh]

17) They didnt really sent a satellite up into space, it was fake just like the first Lunar Landing

 

[bateau980]

18. The Solar Panels aren't getting enough sunlight so they've had to switch to alternate power. The problem is the engineers forgot that hamsters need air to live.

 

[CPanther95]

Umm,,,, you wont believe this but the installer of my new equipment thought that if I didnt set things on stretch I wouldnt get HD. I told him he was wrong (he didnt own an HD set), so I didnt even try to explain. Of course he didnt know how to peak to the new sat location either. He also said he would set up only for 3lnb dish in the setup because the 5lnb setup would just give an error message or some nonsense. I was so dissapointed too since this was the first tech who ever showed up with a blue D* shirt.

Mine was adamant that you had to hook up the composite audio along with HDMI in order to get any audio. So I left it unhooked from the TV - then showed him the ends after we started getting some sound.

 

[sacalait]

19: Some guy named Bob forgot to throw the light switch on in the break room at D* HQ this morning at 5:59 am prior to making the coffee. Little did he know that switch was the GO HOT button for D-10

 

[richiephx]

It was determined that D10 was recalled because the lead paint the Chinese used to seal the satellite was deemed hazardous to HD.

 

[Speck's Dad]

Chuck Norris accidentally knocked the satellite out of orbit while practicing roundhouse kicks.

 

[bhelms]

19: Some guy named Bob forgot to throw the light switch on in the break room at D* HQ this morning at 5:59 am prior to making the coffee. Little did he know that switch was the GO HOT button for D-10

Maybe it's another switch like the one in that commercial that operates the garage door 2 houses away ??

I think it's another part of the moon landing conspiracy, i.e., the satellite never really launched and it was all simulated...?

 

[Speck's Dad]

D10 has not yet been launched because Chuck Norris is not available to throw it into outer space - Chuck is busy teaching Charlie Ergen how rip another man's larynx out.

...I like this posting stuff.

 

[CPanther95]

> D* engineers were using "m" for miles - Boeing engineers were using metric and dialed in the beams using meters. D*10 is fully functioning, and the CONUS beam extends from Ellsworth, KS all the way to Kanopolis, KS. Northeastern Kanopolis is receiving the Burlington, VT spotbeam - Southeastern Kanopolis is receiving Gainesville, FL spotbeam.

 

[mkatts]

E* snuck one of their sats in front of D10 blocking the signal.

 

[VegasDen]

While not previously announced, D10 software is based on the Microsoft Vista operating system. Unfortunately, the new video drivers upgrade D* installed last night resulted in a BSOD. Engineers are working closely with Microsoft customer support. At last word, the Chief D* Engineer told a CSR he was 20th in the Microsoft help-line queue and is being told on a prerecorded message "the expected wait time is 45 minutes".

 

[Jamey K]

Boeing invoice arrived at John Malone's house.