To Voomers everywhere- What happened in parody

TheForce

SatelliteGuys Master
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Supporting Founder
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Oct 13, 2003
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Jacksonville, FL, Earth
A short parody for all VOOMER Satellite Guys

The Taxi Company That Thought It Could Run a Bus Company... a la "Animal Farm" by Don Landis ©2005 Don Landis

Once upon a time there was a city with taxi's and shuttle Limo services but no bus company. So, the taxi company decided to start a bus service. They invested in a bunch of wholesale busses and offered to sell these busses to people who wanted to come on board. Unfortunately the busses were so expensive only a few who really wanted that bus service could afford to pay the price. The taxi company needed to pay for their investment quickly because the people who rode the taxis were all complaining that the cost of the busses and drivers etc was too much to bear and felt that their taxi fares would increase to cover the bus service cost.
In an effort to appease the taxi riders they decided to offer the busses for a small membership fee in hopes of gaining riders for the fee plus a per trip cost. Well, this actually began to work so the taxi company was on a roll and decided to keep things going with the bus company but set a goal to break even in 6 months even though their own taxi company took 5 years to break even when it all started. The Taxi Company continued to take on new memberships in the buss service, adding riders. There was a minor resentment since many of the original people who came on board had purchased these busses at the high price for the privilege of riding them and now all these new people were riding as well for little investment. However, the ones who bought the busses for the ride were comforted in knowing that the new membership only plus pay as you ride would be the very ones that would guarantee that their original investment would live on.
Unfortunately the 6 months finally was up and the Taxi Company put everyone on notice that the Bus service would be shut down for failing to meet the deadline to turn a profit. They gave then 30 days to come up with a plan.
During the next 30 days, the Bus management made a huge attempt to increase memberships by giving away the busses to anyone for a dollar plus just pay for the rides but when this didn't work they started to give away 3 busses to prospective rider in hopes he may have family members that would ride the other busses and pay for the rides too.
Unfortunately, back at the Taxicab management, they were afraid the Bus company just might succeed with this plan so in a last ditch effort to Kill the Bus service, the Taxi cab management decided to sell the Bus companies maintenance service center to another city, thinking that without the service center, the Busses would breakdown with no maintenance service. There were many rumors that the Buses could get service at other out of the way centers but this would require all the busses to take their passengers by this location everyday and the Bus management felt that with this inconvenience would not only be costly but also lose members who didn't want to go out of their way. A few buss routes didn't even have roads leading to these service centers so they had to get trees cut down to pave the way to these new centers. It didn't seem like this was going to work at all.
Additionally, other amenities were added to each bus to entice new riders but it didn't work fast enough. The Taxi company, who by the way, was run by the Bus company's own son, began to play games in the final days to hinder the success of the Bus company by posting negative advertising on the sides of the busses warning people not to rid the busses because they were soon to break down. The Bus Company managed to get the busses repainted but that took a few days and by that time the cat was out of the bag for all to see what was happening. People would be thinking about riding the buss but would see those signs of warning and just call the taxi. Finally, the Bus company manager surprised everyone by throwing in the towel and gave up. He realized his mistake. He should never have let his own son have control over his bus company dream.
So, the city with a dream has to go back riding the taxi's everywhere or go with the limo service.
The few who didn't understand and had become used to the idea of showing up at the bus stop paying their fare and riding now just saw this sign, "Go find another way to work, we're closed" They wanted an explanation but all they could get from the people who actually owned a few busses was they weren't entitled to explanation since they were just riders and didn't have an investment as they made. Fact is even the riders as well as the employees of the Bus Company didn't know the real reason as to why all this happened.
But the story doesn't end here. Bus service is real and the people want it. The fact that the Taxi Company didn't know how to make it work didn't mean that busses would not return to the city one day soon. To be continued...
 
Don Landis said:
....
But the story doesn't end here. Bus service is real and the people want it. The fact that the Taxi Company didn't know how to make it work didn't mean that busses would not return to the city one day soon. To be continued...

I hope so Don. I shed a tear or two reading this.
I've been evaluating my options for HD life "after Voom" and the situation is sincerely depressing. :no
 
You forgot to mention that the bus company was losing more riders than it was gaining after 1 year in business. Negative growth is truely a bad sign for any business, and even the owner's son and the hand-picked cronies of the owner can realize that.

I think the taxi company knew how to run taxis, and didn't know squat about how to run busses. They put up a luxury bus fleet when all that most people wanted was a ride around the block. Fine for the few riders in town, but the cash flow to maintain the fleet wasn't sustainable.
 
mdonnelly said:
You forgot to mention that the bus company was losing more riders than it was gaining after 1 year in business. Negative growth is truely a bad sign for any business, and even the owner's son and the hand-picked cronies of the owner can realize that.

I think the taxi company knew how to run taxis, and didn't know squat about how to run busses. They put up a luxury bus fleet when all that most people wanted was a ride around the block. Fine for the few riders in town, but the cash flow to maintain the fleet wasn't sustainable.

Yes it was mentioned but you didn't get it. You have to learn how to read parody better. Of course, I could write for those who don't get it. That will be in the DVD version with director's comments! :)
 
Don Landis said:
Yes it was mentioned but you didn't get it. You have to learn how to read parody better. Of course, I could write for those who don't get it. That will be in the DVD version with director's comments! :)

Don, he is just a mildly annoying troll. Don't waste the precious DVD space on trolls... :)
 
Don Landis said:
But the story doesn't end here. Bus service is real and the people want it. The fact that the Taxi Company didn't know how to make it work didn't mean that busses would not return to the city one day soon. To be continued...
Good job, Don! And I fervently hope so....
angel-smiley-015.gif
Vicki
 
andrzej said:
I hope so Don. I shed a tear or two reading this.
I've been evaluating my options for HD life "after Voom" and the situation is sincerely depressing. :no

Same here.

I'm putting off buying a Qualia 006. Whats the point of buying a race car when you get the fuel for it. :eek:
 
All i can say XBox HD, and HD DVD out in 4 months

All you guys that are depressed and i include myself have solace, HD DVD in 4 months, 20 weeks, all movies in pristine 1080i uncompressed pure HD, and HD Xbox out in also the same time frame. The HD revolution is only beginning.
 
calikarim said:
All you guys that are depressed and i include myself have solace, HD DVD in 4 months, 20 weeks, all movies in pristine 1080i uncompressed pure HD, and HD Xbox out in also the same time frame. The HD revolution is only beginning.

Bullsh!t!
It took 6 years for DVD to become mainstream in the video rental market, the largest market for prerecorded media. What makes you think that in 20 weeks "all movies will be out in HDDVD in that time frame? At best it will take nearly 3 years for the rental market to get with that program. I predict if you purchase the HDDVD player system you will have as difficult a time finding media in 4 months as you do today. If you decide to purchase, maybe, but that market is as small as VOOM was.
 
Don Landis said:
Bullsh!t!
It took 6 years for DVD to become mainstream in the video rental market, the largest market for prerecorded media. What makes you think that in 20 weeks "all movies will be out in HDDVD in that time frame? At best it will take nearly 3 years for the rental market to get with that program. I predict if you purchase the HDDVD player system you will have as difficult a time finding media in 4 months as you do today. If you decide to purchase, maybe, but that market is as small as VOOM was.


Don in all fairness I don't think he stated in his post DVD went mainstream in 4 months. He was refereing to HD DVD evolved to a retail-able form in that timeframe.
.
The 20 weeks he referred to was Voom's broadcasting in 1080i and not all movies available on HD DVD in 1080i.

This is the way I read his post, am I missing or misconstruing the facts here?
 
Article
HD-DVD update and list of titles
Where are HD-DVD and Blu-Ray right now? Join us for a update and a list of more than 85 already announced titles for the next-generation format.


Batman Begins, one of the titles announced for HD.

By Henning Molbaek

The two formats fighting for supremacy as the next-generation videodisc format are HD-DVD (developed by Toshiba and NEC) and Blu-Ray (developed by Sony). The DVD Forum supports HD-DVD, but this does not mean that HD-DVD has won. It all comes down to one thing--studio support.

Blu-Ray has Sony-owned Columbia Tri-Star, and Sony just bought MGM. Recently, Disney said that it would release titles on Blu-Ray discs. HD-DVD is backed by Time Warner (Warner Bros. and New Line), Universal, and Paramount. 20th Century Fox has yet to decide but is on the advisory boards for both formats.

At this year's Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas, the supporters behind HD-DVD put action behind their words, announcing more than 85 titles that will be released on HD-DVD before year's end, including "Batman Begins", "Braveheart", and the Harry Potter series. With that kind of line-up, it looks like HD-DVD may have taken the lead, leaving Blu-Ray with only titles from one other studio other than the ones owned by Sony and no announced movies.

The war is by far not over yet, but the battle will hit a new high when products by both camps are released in stores in the United States.

Here is a list of the announced HD-DVD titles. Please note that no word on extras or any details for that matter are available at this time.

Universal:
The Bourne Supremacy
The Chronicles of Riddick
Van Helsing
Apollo 13
U-571
12 Monkeys
Dune
The Thing
End of Days
Backdraft
Waterworld
The Bone Collector
Spy Game
Pitch Black
Conan the Barbarian
Dante's Peak

Warner Bros., New Line and HBO:
Above the Law
Alexander
Angels in America
Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery
Batman Begins
Blade
Catwoman
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
Constantine
Contact
Dark City
The Dukes of Hazzard
Eraser
Executive Decision
Final Destination
Friday
From the Earth to the Moon
The Fugitive
Gothika
Hard to Kill
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
House of Was (2005)
The Last Samurai
The Mask
The Matrix
The Matrix Reloaded
The Matrix Revolutions
Maverick
Million Dollar Baby
The Music Man
Mystic River
Next of Kin
North by Northwest
Ocean's Eleven
Ocean's Twelve
Passenger 57
The Perfect Storm
The Phantom of the Opera (2004)
The Player
The Polar Express
Red Planet
Rush Hour
Se7en
Soldier
The Sopranos
Spawn
Swordfish
Troy
Under Siege
U.S. Marshals
Wild Wild West

Paramount:
The Manchurian Candidate
Spongebob Squarepants
Elizabethtown
Coach Carter
The Italian Job (2004)
School of Rock
Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow
Forrest Gump
Braveheart
Ghost
Grease
Mission Impossible 2
Black Rain
Save the Last Dance
Sleepy Hollow
U2 Rattle & Hum
Vanilla Sky
Lara Croft: Tomb Raider
Star Trek: First Contact
We Were Soldiers
 
kanderson said:
Article
HD-DVD update and list of titles
Where are HD-DVD and Blu-Ray right now? Join us for a update and a list of more than 85 already announced titles for the next-generation format.


Batman Begins, one of the titles announced for HD.

By Henning Molbaek

The two formats fighting for supremacy as the next-generation videodisc format are HD-DVD (developed by Toshiba and NEC) and Blu-Ray (developed by Sony). The DVD Forum supports HD-DVD, but this does not mean that HD-DVD has won. It all comes down to one thing--studio support.

Blu-Ray has Sony-owned Columbia Tri-Star, and Sony just bought MGM. Recently, Disney said that it would release titles on Blu-Ray discs. HD-DVD is backed by Time Warner (Warner Bros. and New Line), Universal, and Paramount. 20th Century Fox has yet to decide but is on the advisory boards for both formats.

At this year's Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas, the supporters behind HD-DVD put action behind their words, announcing more than 85 titles that will be released on HD-DVD before year's end, including "Batman Begins", "Braveheart", and the Harry Potter series. With that kind of line-up, it looks like HD-DVD may have taken the lead, leaving Blu-Ray with only titles from one other studio other than the ones owned by Sony and no announced movies.

The war is by far not over yet, but the battle will hit a new high when products by both camps are released in stores in the United States.

Here is a list of the announced HD-DVD titles. Please note that no word on extras or any details for that matter are available at this time.

Universal:
: First Contact
We Were Soldiers
BETA vs VHS all over again!!!!!!!!!!!! RERUNS keep coming>>>>>>>>>>LOL :D
 
Hold on to Your Hat

bryansr said:
BETA vs VHS all over again!!!!!!!!!!!! RERUNS keep coming>>>>>>>>>>LOL :D

With HD DVD players released 4th quarter, the HD wind will be up to about Gale Force 8 & rising. WHOA!... LOL :D
 
kanderson said:
With HD DVD players released 4th quarter, the HD wind will be up to about Gale Force 8 & rising. WHOA!... LOL :D

Gale Force? It very much depends on the cost of an HD DVD player. You think that a Sixpack Joe will replace his regular DVD player that he just bought a few months ago for $50 with a new and more expensive toy? Besides, the new toy may not provide any benefit to him if he doesn't own an HD set or simply doesn't appreciate the difference between 480p (regular DVD) and 1080i (HD DVD).
 
And oh by the way the X-BOX does HD (720p) now. All you need is the correct adapter/cables.
 
kanderson said:
With HD DVD players released 4th quarter, the HD wind will be up to about Gale Force 8 & rising. WHOA!... LOL :D


For the average Joe...don't buy a thing...anything purchased now is a gamble. Wait for the Sony-Toshiba battle declare a winner. Or checkout Universal DVD players by Denon, they may provide both technologies.?.
 
Most likely, HD-DVD will not be the "next great thing".

To most people, DVD at 480P is a great leap over VHS. This and the convenience of the small DVD discs is what caused DVD to take off in the first place. However, DVD at 1080i will not be the giant leap forward. Here's my opinion why:
1. Those of us with Voom know that the real jump in PQ is video, not really film. My kids are blown away by sitcoms in HD, but many of the dramas shot on film underwhelm them because they are "grainy" (their words). Most people associate DVD with movies and a film transfer to HD is not quite as dramatic as a video program in HD.
2. The masses are buying ED sets more than anything else. It does HD, but at 480P. Given that, the 1080i programming is only marginally better than 480P programming. This is compounded by #1 above as well.
3. Everyone is cautious when there is a format war. Joe Sixpack still has his Beta VCR somewhere in the attic from the 80's.

This spells trouble for HD-DVD and Blu-Ray.
 

I've just received this email from Voom...

just got of the phone with a csr

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