end of story
Prior to buying $398 newegg HDtivo, i emailed directv and asked if it would be owned or leased. They said owned, in writing. Called tonight to activate it (via my superspecial toll free number of course). the dude asked how much I paid. I said what difference does that make? I guess I could have lied and said 800 since he told me I needed to pay that much for an owned receiver and if it was only 400 then it's leased. (this appears to be another trick to getting owned...say you paid 800)
But instead I reiterated that I emailed 2 online retailers AND DTV and they all said owned. He then transferred me to (I assume) the access card dept, since that's what i said he should do. Then she started in with the lease etc and I had to retell the story again. As soon as she heard the word ONLINE purchase, she changed her tone immediately and said she'd change it to owned right away and thanked me for being 'the best customer' and she was glad she could help me.
So the key word appears to be 'online.' Good luck everyone and make sure you write down days/times you call and who you talked to.
geez just checked online bill and it's leased...time to raise some hell i guess