<?
//Bob Haller Dish Network Forum Response Generator - © probinson 2010
$arr = array('Dish Network', 'Charlie Ergen', 'Echostar');
foreach($arr as $key => $serach_topic) {
if(stristr($topic, $search_topic)) == true) {
$beancounter = true;
$fee_jacking = true;
$churn = true;
$rainfade = true;
}
}
if($beancounter == true) {
//THE downfall of Dish Network... DAMN THE BEANCOUNTERS!
$beancounter_logic = array('maximizing profit', 'wearing beancounter suits', 'bad ideas', 'ripping people off', 'greed');
shuffle($beancounter_logic);
}
if($fee_jacking == true) {
// This is because of Beancounters...
$fee_jacking_logic = array('Dish lost the TIVO lawsuit', 'a bad economy', 'beancounters don\'t care');
shuffle($fee_jacking_logic);
}
if($churn== true) {
//If only they'd have listened to me...
$churn_logic = array('everyone will switch to Comcast', 'Dish Network will implode', 'the beancounters will succeed in killing Dish Network for good');
shuffle($churn_logic);
}
if($rainfade = true) {
//Never again!
$rainfade_logic = array('I put up with it for so long', 'I didn\'t leave sooner', 'Charlie Ergen doesn\'t listen to my suggestions');
shuffle($rainfade_logic);
}
//Generate response ---
echo 'The beancounters at Dish Network are only interested in ' & $beancounter_logic[0];
echo 'All of the fee jacking the beancounters are doing is because ' & $fee_jacking_logic[0];
echo 'If Ergen doesn\'t do something soon, the beancounters are going to cause so much churn that ' & $churn_logic[0];
echo 'Lucky for me, I\'m saving big bucks with Comcast, no longer have to worry about rainfade,';
echo ' and I don\'t know why' & $rainfade_logic[0];
echo 'Do yourself a favor and switch to Comcast today!' ;
?>
they may not be my provider but I am still interested in them.
