I watched this when it aired originally and it really got into me. Big time. For one, the transformation of Elsa from a young girl to a woman over the 6 months the story covered was very well done. At the time, I had been and until recently been single and depressed over the lack of love in my life so her emotion-ridden experiences with love lost and found, not just in Sam and Ennis but in the new world around her as she traveled through it really resonated with me.
When Ennis was killed it brought me back to the loss of whom I considered the love of my life at the time, some years prior.
But it was her death that truly possessed me.
Not because she died, which was sad in itself, but the journey, knowing she was dying and being forced to finally accept it, and then the loss of fear just before she passed.
I am terrified of dying. The unknown of what's next - or isn't next - is one thing but it's the process of the last few minutes, seconds, before succumbing to it. The panic one must feel whether conscious or unconsciously is what truly terrifies me.
Elsa's final monologue detailing her revelation of Heaven and the beauty of staring in Death's face hit me with an emotional gut punch.
My girlfriend Denise had never seen any of the Yellowstone shows so we've been binging Yellowstone and after Season 3, we switched to 1883. (1923 will come after Season 4). I warned her this was a very intense show that really got into me and last night we watched the final 3 episodes. Her lingering silence at the end of Ep 10 told me that it had gotten into her, as well, and after reliving it again over the last few days, I am again feeling displaced and emotionally exhausted from it.
As a side note, since some of you brought up Shea's death. He foretold it when he talked about why he was going to the Ocean; so Helen could see it through his eyes and then so he could go see her. When that scene unfolded, I knew how it would end and the glimpse of the gun in his lap confirmed it.
I don't suppose I'll ever watch this series again. The grief and emotional drain I get from it is too much and I fear the third time will be less likely to affect me the way it did originally and again this week, sharing it with Denise.