SEC Accepts Memphis' Application

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Jul 11, 2008
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Team Speed Kills - SEC Coverage
BIRMINGHAM (TSK) -- In a stunning move, the SEC announced today that it has accepted the application of Memphis to become the 14th member of the conference.

"Those Missouri people can't figure out what they want to do in like a nine-hour long meeting, so we figured what the h---?" said a visibly drunk Mike Slive. He then joined the SEC presidents in a slurred rendition of "Go Tigers Go," the Memphis fight song.

Sources inside the SEC indicate that Ole Miss, Kentucky and Vanderbilt pushed hard for the Tigers' inclusion. When asked why, the source simply said: "Have you seen Kentucky play this year?"
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