Humorous solutions for audits.
To my discovery, it turns out that dish network actually DOES go and do "phone audits" -- where they call and force you to verify that all your receivers are in your house. That is mandatory, for any receivers which you can't "verify" in a "timely fashion" are "terminated". -- aka disabled...
Apparently such is a "minor offense" and can easily be fixed, but I think several things about this, one being invasion of privacy, the other being flaming rude. If someone called me and reported that they were going to audit me, I'm rather sure I'd chuckle, tell them that such is invasion of my privacy, provide them with the appropriate info, then ask to speak to their manager to cancel my account.
Nuff said. The boxes already stay plugged in and report all sorts of things behind my back over the phone lines, why should I be held at liberty to stop whatever I'm doing and go check the TVs around the house to make sure that I'm paying them "enough"?
So this thread, I was thinking of some humorous ways to tell off those pesky auditors! No laughing matter, you say? I digress!
1. Laugh them out, then hang up
2. Ask for them to verify that they're actually a dish network employee and audit their age/employee number and possibly location (maybe even SSN, since dishnet knows that about you!) -- since you shouldn't trust them if they don't trust you.
3. Tell them to do the physically impossible with the satellites and said receivers.
4. Make them walk you through to get the code, screw up every time (go to point dish, blare the EEEEEEEEE into the phone, oops sorry! I thought you said point dish!)
5. Say the numbers/letters wrong and keep correcting them, ask them to verify each time.
I dunno, maybe it isn't funny.. but shoot, I dunno.. it makes me mad too.. I needed to subdue my disappointment/anger in such a company to not trust their customers, it'd be like your ISP calling you and verifying the MAC address of every computer on your network, or wal-mart patting you down before leaving the store "just to make sure you're not stealing from us" -- just rude, totally unappreciative. I don't give a damn if they 'lose money' over such a thing because they could make their own damn ways to 'verify where the receivers are' if they weren't so petty.