Scott,
I think my comment sailed over your head at about 10,000 feet. Dan Ackroyd had a bit he did regularly on Saturday Night Live (original Cast) where he played a less than honest pitch man.
One of these pitches was for the "Bass-A-Matic" (basically a high powered Blender). The Pitch was ridiculous, he placed a full size Bass in the unit, and turned the Bass into a Fish OIL shake and drank it, PRICELESS.
Now that I had to explain my original post it sucked the funny right out of the Original post, ooohh Well.
I guess I'm just showing my age.
Sorry,
John