1st round Tiger jokes

[NotMe546]

Tiger Woods is so rich that he owns lots of expensive cars. Now he has A hole in one.


What's the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a Ball 400 yards.


Tiger Woods wasn't seriously injured in the crash, but he's still below par.


What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2.30 in the morning?

They went clubbing


Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree. He couldn't decide between a wood and an iron.


Ping just offered Elin Woods an endorsement contract pushing her own set of drivers. They said to named Elin Woods..."clubs you can beat Tiger with."


Tiger just changed his nickname but still kept it in the cat family-his new name?:

Cheetah


Since Tiger drives an Escalade, can he blame the accident on his caddy?

 

[Rey]

some of those are funny as hell!!!

 

[Bobby]

Yes, they are. Thanks Tiger for for giving us an opening to laugh, even if it is at your expense.

 

[Paul Wozniak]

Do you know why Tiger waited all the weekend to tell his story?

He wanted to improve his lie.

Groan.

 

[riffjim4069]

Finally!!! Some decent new material for Leno and the other late-night entertainers!!!

 

[Ramy]

What do baby seals and Tiger have in common? They were both clubbed by Norweigans.

 

[Paul Wozniak]

What do baby seals and Tiger have in common? They were both clubbed by Norweigans.

I thought she was a Swede?

 

[BobMurdoch]

I'm sure there is a joke about "playing the back nine" here somewhere....

 

[Ramy]

I thought she was a Swede?

Yeah I thought so too. I didn't make the joke up though.

 

[yorktown]

I'm sure there is a joke about "playing the back nine" here somewhere....

or
Getting a hole in one.
or
Playing in the ruff.

 

[cosmo_kramer]

It is near the Christmas break of the school year. The students have turned in all their work and there is really nothing more to do. All the children are restless and the teacher decides to have an early dismissal.

Teacher: "Whoever answers the questions I ask, first and correctly, can leave early today."

Little Johnny says to himself "Good, I want to get outta here. I'm smart and will answer the question."

Teacher: "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, "Abraham Lincoln."

Teacher: "That's right Susie, you can go home." Johnny is mad that Susie answered the question first.

Teacher: "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, "Martin Luther King."

Teacher: "That's right Mary, you can go." Johnny is even madder than before.

Teacher: "Who said 'Ask not what your country can do for you'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, "John F. Kennedy."

Teacher: "That's right Nancy , you may also leave."

Johnny is boiling mad that he has not been able to answer to any of the questions.

When the teacher turns her back Johnny says, "I wish these bitches would keep their mouths shut!"

The teacher turns around: "NOW WHO SAID THAT?"

Johnny: "TIGER WOODS. CAN I GO NOW?

 

[yorktown]

It sounds like Tiger was playing 14 extra holes.

 

[mccoyrj]